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Baby Log: 1 Year and 28 Weeks Old

Sunday, March 6, 2011

This week has been challenging for Marlie and me on the communications front. Marlie knows lots of words, she knows some sign language and she can point. But sometimes these tools are not enough to convey her needs and feelings. In those cases, watch out!
  • Marlie is resorting to striking when she gets frustrated because she can't communicate something or she's not getting the response she wants. I'm not a person who uses violence in any situation, so it is distressing when my child lashes out as a means of expression. She's been slapping, punching, shoving, pinching, and biting and throwing hissy fits. I am seriously thinking about getting some headgear and a mouth guard. I have tried the conscious disciplining method, redirecting...everything short of spanking her. I do not want to use corporal punishment. Nothing against parents who do. I just don't have it in me, my bark is worse than my bite. There must be something I haven't tried yet to put an end to this. Suggestions are welcome!
  • It's not just the hitting thing that has got me bent out of shape. Lately, everything is a battle with my newly-minted toddler. This must be a phase they all go through. I feel like every task requires a hostage negotiator. Me: Marlie, let's go change your diaper. Marlie: No! Me: You can walk to the changing station or I can carry you if you need help getting there. Marlie: No, no, no! Me: Last time, Marlie. Either you go lay on the changing pad or I am going to pick you up and put you there. Marlie: [runs away]. Me: [grabbing her and physically putting her on the changing pad] I guess we have to do this the hard way. Marlie: [kicking, screaming, crying, wiggling] no, no, no!. It's the same scenario at nap time, lunchtime bed time, and so forth, and so on. I was at my wit's end until I read The Babby Mama's post entitled, Warning Bells: Toddlers and Time. It was eye-opening. I never considered it a disruption of Marlie's time as I attempted to usher her from task to task. I was only focused on getting the job at hand done, sticking to our routine and getting through the day without the house burning down. I've been trying this method of giving Marlie a heads up when it's time to transition to a new task. It's going to take lots of practice before we can reach a truce.
  • All was not gloom and doom this week. I have been teaching her the parts of the body. She can say face, head, eyes, feet. She has also entered the questioning phase and asks, "what's this?" all the time. She also like to say ew when she sees something that is gross to her, like the scab on my knee or the remnants of the price sticker on her book. Marlie started repeating a phrase over and over, which sounded like applebirdy until I realized she was saying Happy Birthday. I guess she's been to enough parties to have picked this up. She also added a new bit to her comedy act: pinching her nose and talking in a funny voice. My little ham.
  • I was a on a lucky streak this week, claiming these prizes in giveaways: $25 gift certificate to Little One Books from Mom to Bed By 8 in her 2000 Fans Celebration on Facebook. I also won a Talika Therapy Eye Patch from Mom to Bed By 8. I am very excited about this! Finally, I won a $70 gift certificate to RedEnvelope.com from Flying Giggles and Lollipops, which I gave to Damon as a belated Valentine's gift.
  • Speaking of Valentine's gifts, I finally got to use the spa gift certificate Damon gave me. I got an hour-long massage and a detox foot bath on Thursday. It helped relieve some of the tension in me and the foot bath revealed that I needed to drink more water to flush my system. No wonder I have been feeling sluggish lately. Later that evening I attended an herbal medicine workshop organized by my pastor and delivered by a naturopathic doctor who just moved to the area. I learned lots of great home remedies for ailments like pink eye, insects bites, and bruises. We even got to make our own sore throat and cough remedy to take home. I am thinking of getting a consult and starting a homeopathic healing regimen. I started seeing a naturopath five years ago when I was living in Atlanta. I was 50 lbs overweight, losing my hair, and depressed. I credit that holistic health program with saving my life. I think it's time to go back.


Maureensk said...

Oi vey! Sorry Marlie is going through a tough time. Toddlerhood is hard. I've been lucky with Miss V. She has non-stop energy, but overall likes to get a long and doesn't throw too many tantrums. I've dealt with the entire spectrum of tantrums as my 2nd ended up having bipolar and let me tell you, those tantrums redefine tantrums. After her, I almost have to laugh at my other kids' tantrums. It sounds like Marlie's are more like those - I'm not implying in any way that Marlie has bipolar, some kids just have more extreme tantrums than others and it just so happens that my kids are pretty mellow mood-wise overall, except the one who happens to have bipolar, but I've seen plenty of kids with killer tantrums who did not have bipolar. With my bipolar daughter, humor was the best help for tantrums. For instance, she went through this phase of not wanting her nails cut and my husband and i together could not hold her down to do it, finally, after becoming totally exasperated, I asked her if she wanted her nails to look like monster nails or something. Well, she though that was utterly hysterical, so after that, whenever she'd start to fuss about getting her nails cut, I'd joke, "Are you trying to grow monster nails again?" and kind of run with the whole monster thing. Actually, I use it some with Miss V also. For instance, if she is not wanting to get her clothes on, I will joke that she lost her hands when they haven't gone through the sleeve all the way still. Now she initiates the conversations, asking where her hands are and I tease her that she is always losing her hands and that she should be more careful.

How about posting the sore throat and cough remedy? We're still dragging with this stupid cold and our coughs are the main thing getting us down, with OTC relief being a joke.

Unknown said...

Oh I hated when my kids went through the hitting phase. It's certainly becuase she's getting frustrated. The No phase is another one that annoyed me but we got through. all apart of growing up.

Kimberly Grabinski said...

My kids didn't hit, but my niece, who I watch 4 days a week (she's 2) is a big-time hitter and hair puller.

I'm at my wits end. Especially because poor little Abby is usually her victim, and my 2 year old niece is BIGGER than my 3 daughter and weighs a lot more.

I've tried yelling, explaining, redirecting, positive reinforcement and I have even resorted to the hand slap. Nothing works. I just starting trying "time-outs" in a chair in the kitchen...only time will tell.

How does a foot bath tell you you need more water?

Anonymous said...

they all go though it i see. Jasmine and her fits and attitudes and telling me "no" and running away get to be too much sometimes. just be patient with her. Jasmine responds well to me talking to her and asking her what her problem is. other times when that doesn't work she might get a swat. i know you're not with that but sometimes thats what is called for with her. shes too bullheaded(gets that from her donor, not me lol). As long as you don't let her get away with too much or walk over you, its a phase that will pass soon enough.

Kim said...

Toddlerhood is so full of bittersweet times. There's so much wonder in watching them grow into separate beings but it is also terrifying and frustrating. And I find that it gets more challenging into age two and three. But I also love it, I really do. I think if you look at even the annoying behaviour as part of growth and development, it can help. But there are times when only a time out works:)I love that you are so plugged into what she's going through!

keyalus said...

Changing the diaper of a wriggling toddler is the absolute worst! You would think they would be calm so they don't have to stew in a pile of poo but oh no! How long till potty training?!?

I've taken my fair share of smacks from Lewis and it is annoying. I know he is frustrated though so I try to be patient and just wait for him to calm down. I'm sure his teething pain isn't helping either. I cut him some slack.

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