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Soapbox Saturday: Selfish People

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Relationships supposed to be give and take, right?

Then why I do I always seem to be stuck on the giving end with a whole lot of taking going on. I am surrounded by selfish people. The kind who only come around when they want something. All of them want a piece of me. The constant barrage is stressful and draining. Sometimes it feels like I'm being bled bone-dry.

Oh, I've wised-up. I've learned to say no. The selfish people don't like that word. They will use other means to try and get what they want like the guilt trip. I don't I fall for it, but it makes me mad that selfish people will resort to emotional manipulation to get their way.

For once I'd like to be on the receiving end of some good, old-fashioned giving and not the kind where someone offers you something under the pretense of giving, but then it turns out they have ulterior motives. I am talking genuine giving...no strings attached, no quid pro quo, no reciprocity.

Do you give with no expectations of anything in return?


jmt said...

Giving makes me feel good. If people ask for a favor, and I can provide, I will. I haven't really had anyone try and ask and ask and ask at the expense of me. But that could be because I have "don't mess with me" stamped on my head. At least that's what I've been told. :) Emotional ploys don't work too well, either....I have enough emotional issues I don't need to worry about someone else's!! Ha.

Keep this in mind, though. You don't want to approach every situation with a worried, "are they going to short me on the return side?" attitude. HOWEVER...use the simple but great adage:

"Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me."

Give them the benefit of the doubt the first time, but after that...if you continue to repeat your behavior, then you need to step back and re-evaluate.

You'll be fine. Just remember you have your own family and concerns and emotional needs to meet. Apologize politely, tell them you can't help them, but that you hope they find what they need. :)

Happy Saturday lady.

Ms. Understood said...

In my personal life, I surrounded by unselfish people. Thank God. But work is a different story. I'm still working on saying no.

Kim @ What's That Smell? said...

You know it's funny but the palm reader in New Orleans told me I need to learn to say NO to those very same types of people. And as much as the palm reader was "entertainment" for me and not something I put much stock in, he was actually right.

I say yes too much to people who give nothing in return - and I don't necessarily expect anything but you know what, it would be nice every once in awhile...

I don't know...from a Christian perspective it is in my nature to help people, but I'm not sure it is Christian to allow people to take advantage of you KWIM?

Anonymous said...

You know, sometimes you have to look out for number one (that would be yourself - and there is nothing wrong with that). Sure, there will be people to ask you to do things (this is just what friends and loved ones do), however, you must temper your "being a good person" with being a strong person and not a push-over (being a good person does not necessarily have anything to do with being a Christian). Somethings in life are just not worth the stress and you have to adopt a "I just don't care" attitude. Family, you don't get the pick them! You HAVE to look out for yourself and not let any of the outside stressors tear you apart.

No, you don't have to be mean or cruel, but tone does allow the person that you are addressing to better understand that something that they are doing is irritating you.

Again, I say, if it stresses you, LOL, ignore it or resolve it. Remember, we cannot change people, we only can change ourselves and how we react to situations!

- Gator

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