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She's Something New

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I began to take things for granted as I got older. The adult me zipped through life on autopilot while the substance of time passed me by. How did the effortless consideration of my youth get replaced with chronic neglectfulness in my mature years?

I can't recall the exact moment that I began to slip, but around age 27 it felt like I was going through the motions. I was busy (too busy) tackling my lengthy list of personal and professional goals. College. Check. Career. Check. Marriage. Check. Graduate School. Check. Travel. Check. Baby. Maybe later. Launch a volunteer-run girls organization. Check. Well, that last one wasn't on my list of goals, but I did it anyway despite an already overflowing plate. It was so crowded that I couldn't taste the fruits of my labor. I didn't chew on life, I just gobbled it up and always felt dissatisfied. In reality, I was simply being ungrateful.

Looking back, I realize that I missed out on the good stuff by not savoring each accomplishment before moving on to the next. There were other repercussions...I forgot my third wedding anniversary and loved ones' birthdays, I didn't make time to speak to my favorite cousin before he died, I experienced a health scare. Yet, these events only gave me enough pause to slap a Band-aid on then resume chugging along with blatant disregard that I needed time to make amends, grieve, and heal.

The one thing that could slow me down was the one thing I put off...motherhood. I became a mother at age 33 and finally pumped the brakes. I vowed to de-clutter my life to make room for new one coming along. In the process, I learned the true meaning of being still. My daughter has restored my appreciation for the fullness of life.
It's refreshing to see the world through her eyes because, to her, everything is something new. When I watch her try to catch water from the faucet during bath time or stare in fascination at a stream of sunlight coming through the window, I am reminded to give thanks for my many blessings.

This essay is my submission for The MyBrownBaby Beautiful Mind Writing Contest. Follow the link for information on how to enter.

8 comments:

Yaya said...

I'll often find myself in a rut of going through the motions. Never fun. I much prefer living in the moment and cherishing every minute!

Green Mama said...

I do the same thing. I do find that on the days that I am home with my son (since I work Part time) I am forced to slow down and enjoy our time together. He needs constant attention and neither of us are happy if I am half paying attention to him and half trying to do other stuff. I have learned to just put down what ever I'm doing and to just focus on our time together, which makes us both happier people!

Darcel said...

Becoming a mom has made me slow down.
Once you have kids you realize how fast time goes by.
I feel like I grow and learn with each child.

If we let them, our children will teach us so many amazing things about life!

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

kids make each day go slower but each year go faster - it's weird but true

The Redhead Riter said...

Each day you spend at home with Marlie will always be refreshing in the small things that she will do and bring to your attention...her first step, the first time she says "I love you", the first time she consciously reaches JUST to hold your hand...the times will be endless. Then when she is 16 and flying off on a day, you will sit in awe of her beauty, intelligence and relish every moment that is locked within your mind and heart. You will never regret living on one income with "less" material things because you will be so rich with memories with her that everything else feels and seems irrelevant. I'm so glad I stayed home. I saw and experienced it all. If I had to go back, I would do it all again the same way except that I would thank God even more since I now KNOW how precious our time together has been. :o)

Maureen said...

It is so hard to not get into this, "I can't wait until..." mindset. My kids will say they can't wait until summer and I point out that means they want to wish away 6 months of their life, how about learning to love the day-to-day stuff. I can't say they understand or appreciate what I'm saying, which I guess is why they say that youth is wasted on the young. At the ripe age of 41, I'm trying hard to slow down and live in the moment.

I am Lee-Ann... said...

What a beauitful post and so true for many of us. Though I didn't do things in the same order I feel like I missed the early years with my first 2 babies but have really slowed down to enjoy my third. Good for you for realizing it quickly with your sweet girl.

Mama C said...

This is a beautifully written post, and such a sweet reminder to me, (who is enjoying some later in life accomplishments including bringing two amazing young boys (5 and 2) into my life to slow down. Congrats on your honorable mention, and for getting this piece out there!

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