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Monday Morning Parenting: Never Say...

Monday, January 25, 2010

cry it outIn my limited experience as a parent (5.5 months and counting), I have learned an invaluable lesson which is to refrain from speaking in absolutes. A few posts back, I made a statement that began with, I would never and ended with, let my baby cry it out. I'm now eating these words with a slice of humble pie because on Saturday night I didn't leap out of bed, run to the nursery, scoop up my baby girl and rock her back to sleep as I (or her daddy) have done for the last 154 days. Instead, we both rolled over and went back to sleep. And guess what? So did she. My feelings about the cry-it-out method haven't changed in my heart, but my body has its own mind. It was screaming out for rest and its cries were louder than Marlie.

In retrospect, I should have said that I don't have the nerves to let my baby cry it out, which is true. But when you hit a wall of exhaustion like I did on Saturday, you'd be surprised what you are capable of doing. So from now on I will no longer employ the words I always or I never when it comes to how we care for or raise our little girl...because you never know.

13 comments:

Maureen said...

Glad you all were able to get some sleep! Also glad that Marlie went back to sleep. One problem with cosleeping is that rolling over and going back to sleep doesn't do much when the baby is right there. The thing with the exhaustion from babies is it just gets greater and greater and then all of sudden the day comes when you realize that you're not exhausted all the time anymore. We haven't reached that stage with Vivi yet. Though it is more of a busy/not getting to be on time thing than her getting up so much.

Darcel said...

I have something for you over at my blog.

The Redhead Riter said...

I will "never" regret one moment that I spent with my daughter and I will "always" look forward to being with her.

How was that for breaking rules? LOL
I couldn't resist.

I'm so sorry you were that tired. I wish you lived closer because Alyssa and I would rescue you any time. Do you want to move?

Lynn said...

Yes we too finally resorted to letting them cry it out and realized they if they weren't hurt, wet, or hungry, they were probably just bored and curious as to how many times they could see mommy or daddy's face in the night time. We got hip to their methods pretty quickly, and the let them cry themselves back to sleep method worked for both children - thankfully. Enjoy your rest.

My best, Lynn

SE'LAH... said...

Good day...coming over from The Mahogany Way. Congrats on your award there.

My baby didn't cry a lot, thankfully so I didn't have that challenge. I bet it will come during puberty ;)

one love.

Execumama said...

Amen to that! One "absolute" that I can confidently stick by is the "I will never say I never... with regard to parenting!" As you so rightly stated, your body has a mind of its own! Besides, you are Marlie's mother, you are connected, so trust and know that if she were distressed or crying beyond a point of the normal want (not need) of your attention, you would feel that, and you would have gotten up. This is a huge milestone for both you and Marlie, so hearty congrats on that!!!

Serenityville said...

My favorite people are the ones who can eat humble pie and admit it. Congrats on over 100 followers - wasn't it only a month ago you were at less than 90? Impressive!!

The Redhead Riter said...

You are the featured blog in my new club

http://blogntweet.ning.com

Toya said...

I felt the same way with my children. I just thought it was so cruel to just let them cry it out. But, it really is the best thing for them. Our little babies learn so early how to get our attention but letting them experience crying it out is almost a rite of passage for them and for us. It's one of those baby steps to independence and we finally can start getting some sleep lol.

AccidentalMommy said...

I was that way with my son and stubbornly stood by it. With my daughter we soon learned that she doesn't just quietly drift of to sleep. She is a "violent, make a ton of noise until I fall asleep" kind of kid, always has been. Even if we held her and rocked her and ran circles around the pool table (seriously did that), she cried herself to sleep. Now, at 2, she yells and talks and banters and whoops and just makes all kinds of crazy noises to fall asleep.

I think, like you said, you can never say never. You may not have another day where you let her cry-it-out, you may have 500 more...I think every kid, and even every day with every kid brings it's own challenges and you do what is best for everyone in that moment.

Ottavia said...

I hear ya! There has been countless times I said 'i would never' but then you have kids of your own and now the phrase of choice is "it depends"!

BTW, I tagged u today, come by for a peek. =)

Alicia Booker said...

I loved this entry...As a veteran mom of three with my oldest being 11, I can honestly say I learned that lesson early. I learned not to say, "I always", "I will never", or the most humbling, "my child would never...". Parenting is such a journey of self discovery...continue to enjoy every minute!

keyalus said...

I get this. I find myself thinking CIO might not be so bad sometimes after thinking it was horrible before my baby arrived. When he's fussy and won't go to sleep (but I *know* he's tired!) I wonder who's running the asylum sometimes - him or us?

The Mister won't let it fly though. He can't handle the crying AT ALL.

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