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Can't We All Just Get Along?!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Fallout Shelter Sign
Photo by Beige Alert

Even before I became a mom, I knew there were different cliques among mothers (i.e. lipstick-wearing, posh mothers; barefoot, hippie mothers). What I didn't know was that they were supposed to despise each other. After all, I am a peace-loving, make-friends-with-most-folk kind of girl. So imagine my dismay when I, on the cusp of motherhood, learn that mommies are at war. Yes, some of it is media hype--did you see the Dr. Phil show last week where the battle lines were all but drawn? But let's be honest, the media would not be throwing fuel on a fire that was not already burning (or at least smoldering). Moms have been judging, criticizing and dismissing each other for eons. The only difference now is that we have a ratings-hungry media (hello, Dr. Phil) and the Internet (blogs, Twitter) to elevate our bickering to the world war level.

I refuse to take a side, and not because I am a draft-dodger, but because I see it as pointless, counterproductive, and disrespectful. I believe all mothers should be united in our common goal to raise healthy and happy children. Why can't we see that
this is just another divide-and-conquer tactic? I believe in a mother's right to parent the way she sees fit whether I personally agree or not. Who am I admonish a new mommy for going back to work when I have not walked a mile in her pumps? I truly think I can learn something from every mother and want to be able to reach out to all types of mothers without having my head blown off for not being a member of their particular faction. I believe we should all lay down our weapons and call a truce, maybe even sign a peace treaty. Call me idealistic. It's okay. I live to dream of a better world.


~T~ said...

I totally agree! I met a group of women called Mom2Mom in Ohio and they were all different kinds of women and mom's and yet they were all reaching out to Mom's. It was one of the biggest blessings of my life. Great post, oh and congrats on the blog awards you recently won.


Kim @ What's That Smell? said...

Another reason I like you!

The high school behavior should be left in, well, PRESCHOOL.

Seriously though we could learn from preschoolers. They play with EVERYONE (sure they have their moments but they forgive and forget so easily) and they don't judge.

Stesha said...

You hit the nail right on the head, as my grandpa would say!

Mommy War? Why would any mother want to be associated with that title. We need to encourage and assist each other. Not bash each other.

Hugs and Mocha,

jmt said...

I am only at war with the other mommy inside me. But mommies who go to work after baby is born? How can anyone judge someone in THAT regard? It's called bills, and not all men are fortunate to have a job that can care properly for a family with the mommy wife at home. Pshhh. Someone just TRY and step to me with some BS....okay, I'll stop now. You have me hot that any SAHM would THINK to judge a woman who works to pay bills. Okay...truce. Well, with you anyhow. We have no beef. :) I don't judge/don't care/see all pros and cons for all parties and I better not see a finger pointing MY way.

Why does the mere THOUGHT of a mom war have me upset? Because it's silly...right?

Unknown said...

I think the resentment stems from a lack of respect/recognition/ validation/understanding from BOTH sides that MOTHERING is hard for EVERY woman PERIOD. Some working moms are guilty of thinking that the SAHMS have it so easy and some of the SAHMS are guilty of accusing the working moms of being selfish for having jobs. Being a SAHM myself, know how lucky I am, but I also know that my situation could easily change. So I don't associate with the group of sanctimonious, self-righteous stay-at-home mothers. At the same time, I sometimes get the urge to lob a dirt-clod (like some deranged school kid) at a working mom who dares to say I have nothing to complain about. It really is a petty, media-fueled debate that has gotten way out of hand, which is why I call truce.

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