I am talking about in real life, go grab lunch, talk on the phone about our problems, meet up at girls' night out, watch each others' kids in a pinch...FRIENDS. I don't have any of those and it is really starting to bug me. For the entire four years we lived in Dallas I didn't have a circle of female companions to hang out with, not like the group of ladies I called friends back in Atlanta. See what had happened was that I got pregnant almost immediately after we moved to Dallas in 2008. I joined our neighborhood mommy group, but didn't like the clique-ishness. I tried other groups through MeetUp but didn't find a good fit and Mocha Moms activities were too far of a drive. So I just gave up and held out until we moved again.
|credit: By John (originally posted to Flickr as Friends soundstage) [Public domain or CC-BY-SA-2.0], via Wikimedia Commons|
Now I am in a new city and there are women everywhere ready for friending, but apparently I suck at it. I am quickly discovering that making friends with moms is like dating, you don't want to appear too eager. I tried making small talk with a nice mom at the park with a girl around Marlie's age. We exchanged hellos and I began the next sentence with, "we just moved here from Dallas." She suddenly made an excuse to leave. The woman literally leaped off the park bench, grabbed her daughter from the swing, and bolted like they were being chased by a zombie. I sat there alone on the bench and wondered if I had said something wrong. Then I realized she must have interpreted my introduction as a desperate cry for friendship. I feel like I am walking around town with a scarlet letter N for New Girl on my chest.
The last time I had to make friends, I was newly married and childless. It was so much easier back then because I didn't have to consider if we shared the same parenting values or whether our children would get along. I just don't know the rules for making friends with other moms. I know it's harder to socialize when you have little kids, so maybe I my expectations are too high. But I only need one or two fellow warrior moms. Women who want to swap parenting tips, babysitting, kid clothes and have potluck brunches. Is that too much to ask for?