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You REALLY Didn't Know You Were Pregnant?!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Have you every watched that TV show I Didn't Know I was Pregnant on TLC? It tells the story of women who deliver babies they didn't know they were pregnant with. I watch it sometimes, totally skeptical that all these women carried babies to term and were unaware the entire time that a life was growing inside of them. Me? I knew I was pregnant the minute I conceived (not really, but I had an idea 2 weeks later)...

Clue #1: Aunt Flo didn't make her monthly visit. My period runs like clockwork. You could set the time by it. I realize that some women have irregular menstrual cycles, but not having a period for nine months would raise red flags for me.

Clue #2: Swollen Boobs. I am a solid B cup so when my cleavage is suddenly spilling out of my bra I take that as a sign that something biological is going on.

Clue #3: Intense Fatigue. I. just. want. to. sleep. all. the. time. By midday I am cross-eyed and drooling and in desperate need of a nap. Some of the women on the show go dancing every night or run a marathon. They must be aliens from the planet Krypton because I am too tired to even watch someone dance or run.

Clue # 4: Naseau. If the sight of raw chicken or the smell of burnt rubber triggers waves of queasiness, you could have the flu or you're pregnant.

Clue #5: Increased Appetite and Weird Cravings. I wake up in the middle of the night hungry and go scavenging in the kitchen like some deranged vulture. I gorge myself on spaghetti sauce and lime Popsicles. Who else does that except a pregnant woman?

Clue #6: Unexplained Weight Gain. I gained eight pounds in two months. I have been eating like a prize county fair pig, but 8 POUNDS?! Am I carrying a linebacker?!

Clue #7: Mood Swings. One minute I am crying at baby commercials, the next I am shouting obscenities at the stupid character on my favorite soap opera. A mild case of bipolar disorder is a sure sign of pregnancy.

Clue #8: Super Sense of Smell. I can sniff Marlie's poop from the next room. I am like a bloody bloodhound. I should get a job at the airport detecting drugs.

Clue #9: Frequent Urination. I have to go to the bathroom constantly. Why hasn't anyone invented a portable potty for pregnant women? If you suddenly develop a baby bladder then you should go get checked out because you might have a medical problem or a growing fetus lodged on your pee-pee maker.  

*disclaimer: this is a tongue-in-cheek article and is intended to be funny.*



11 comments:

Krissy said...

This was a good one lol.

I don't believe a single woman on that show to be honest. Granted I didn't know I was pregnant for 5 months however, I still had a cycle for 4 months and 2 negative test given by nurses so I had no red flags lol.

keyalus said...

@Krissy - Wow! 5 months?!?

My mom didn't know she was pregnant with my sister for 4 months. Same thing as Krissy. She still had a cycle.

I was suspicious after only being a week late. I had weird skin breakouts for a few weeks and I don't usually get regular acne. The smell thing was there too. I ran a race on New Year's Day and was abnormally aware of the exhaust fumes from cars.

Even if I had not picked up on those minor things the other things you listed like the appetite, fatigue and bathroom trips would make me wonder!

Barb said...

I could tell 2 to 3 weeks later when I was pregnant with our son 13 years ago!!!! I haven't watched the show but can believe that someone wouldn't have a remote inkling that they were!!!

blueviolet said...

How could someone be so incredibly out of touch with their own body as to not notice those symptoms? I just don't get it!

Kim @ What's That Smell? said...

Seriously! How can they not know. I had all the same symptoms as you. I knew before the test was even positive that I was.

A Box of Chocolates said...

when I was pregnant 22 years ago with my twins i knew before the test could tell me, at the docs I was negative on Friday and positive on Monday, the boobs and vomiting gave it away ha ha love that post.

Mrs. Pancakes said...

Oh i have to keep these symptoms around for when i think i may be! but i heard there are a lot of ladies that just had NO clue...

toi said...

Nice fun post.

Wow, maybe if I was not check my urine every time I might have been clueless too, LOL.

I read somewhere that teenagers are liikely not to notice they are pregnant because they don't feel many symptoms.

Quiana said...

Ha! I love that you put that disclaimer at the end! I know a skinny teen who hid her pregnancy the entire time and I even saw her in the 3rd trimester and was clueless. Crazy, I know, but maybe it really is true as toi said that it's just different with teens.

Karine Traverse said...

I go back and forth on my belief. I do believe some of the stories are plausible, but some I think are a little exaggerated just to get on the show.
I will say my grandmother didn't know she was pregnant with her second. This was many years ago (circa 1959). She just arrived to the states and wasn't feeling well with indigestion. To her surprised she peed herself and became very embarrassed until the doctor told her it was her water breaking.
Now the likely culprit in her case was that she was still over weight from her delivery about a year earlier, she was not having a period due to nursing and conceived before having one back. It was believed that my uncle was laying more towards her back and wasn't very active and the movement she did feel she thought were phantom pregnancy movements (the lovely settling after delivery for many months) and gas. Other than movements she had no symptoms what so ever. Of course though this was many years ago.... without modern technology.

I do believe people with PCOS, those that have irregular cycles and are on the larger side might not realize it. I have heard of women even knowing they are pregnant, but short of having a positive test say they would never have known they were pregnant. I have also heard that depending on the location of the placenta can play a big part on feeling fetal movement.

Maureen said...

Having had 5 kids, I can only say that each pregnancy can be very different. I breastfed baby #2 and she suddenly weaned one day, which confused me, but she was kind of like that and had been working towards weaning anyway. I never got my period while breastfeeding and was wondering when I'd get it back. Meanwhile, I was a bit tired, but I had two kids, 18 months apart, so that's to be expected. Finally, it occurs to me that I might be pregnant. I was 14 weeks! With that pregnancy, I probably could have easily made it until 7 months without knowing it. I never could go 9 months, 'cuz...well I look like a beached whale at that point. I once saw a photo of a lady in a bikini who looked really good and it ends up one week after the photo was taken, she delivered a 7 lb baby!

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